Getting friend-zoned

Most of us have had it done to us.  You meet someone, you are attracted to them but one day you wake up to the fact that you are in the friend-zone.  Or maybe you have been directly placed in the friend-zone by that infamous line… “I just want to be friends.”

In the world of personal relationships the friend-zone is like a tar pit, from which few escape.  But in the business world people move in and out of the friend-zone a lot.  Who knows, I may even introduce you to one of my friends or be your wingman/wingwoman and help you find your next date.

In the interview process this happens when you get an email or call that sounds something like this:

“Thank you for applying with us.  At this time you have not been selected for the position.”

But I bet when you read a rejection email you hear:

“You suck, I do not like you and I think you are an idiot.”

Most of the time that is not true.  Sometime it is, but usually the truth is that I wish you were a match and I really wish we could hire you for any number of reasons:

  1. I like you as a person and would like you as a coworker.
  2. You would bring some unique skills or enthusiasm to the company.
  3. You are unemployed and I know how much that sucks.
  4. You are in that conundrum of needing experience to get a job but how do you get experience if no one will hire you.
  5. Lastly, I am tired of this pain in the ass hiring manager that wants their “perfect” candidate for 20% less money than the market pays and I just what to put a but in that seat.

What I really want to tell you when I don’t hire you is this:

Look, here is the deal… I/we do not feel that this position and or the company is a good match for you and/or you are not a good match for us.  So, how about we help each other out?  You help me find the right person (you were a close match so you probably know other people who are similar) and I will help you.  How could I help you?  I could do a lot.  The least of which is connect on LinkedIn.  If you handle things right I might even give you some suggestions on your resume or interviewing skills.

So keep your chin up and keep fighting the good fight.  It WILL work out for you, if you believe it will.

The Man

Everything happens for a reason and sometimes that reason is that you are an idiot.


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