Courting The Company

You have been putting yourself out there and you have not had any luck.  You only get the “don’t call us, we’ll call you” line or you are not getting past a first phone interview.  What should you do?  Step back and re-evaluate.

Look at it this way, what would you do if you wanted to find a spouse?  BTW, I do not recommend this type of mission but I do understand why people would embark on such an escapade.  Check out this Ted Talk from Amy Webb. She is a bit obsessive about it but I think you get my point.  Step back and look at what others are doing that works.

Maybe you need to change what positions or companies you are targeting.  Do you need to change your resume?  It could even be that you need to submit more applications at companies.  Whatever it is, start stepping up your game.

The Man

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein

Most of us have had it done to us.  You meet someone, you are attracted to them but one day you wake up to the fact that you are in the friend-zone.  Or maybe you have been directly placed in the friend-zone by that infamous line… “I just want to be friends.”

In the world of personal relationships the friend-zone is like a tar pit, from which few escape.  But in the business world people move in and out of the friend-zone a lot.  Who knows, I may even introduce you to one of my friends or be your wingman/wingwoman and help you find your next date.

In the interview process this happens when you get an email or call that sounds something like this:

“Thank you for applying with us.  At this time you have not been selected for the position.”

But I bet when you read a rejection email you hear:

“You suck, I do not like you and I think you are an idiot.”

Most of the time that is not true.  Sometime it is, but usually the truth is that I wish you were a match and I really wish we could hire you for any number of reasons:

1. I like you as a person and would like you as a coworker.
2. You would bring some unique skills or enthusiasm to the company.
3. You are unemployed and I know how much that sucks.
4. You are in that conundrum of needing experience to get a job but how do you get experience if no one will hire you.
5. Lastly, I am tired of this pain in the ass hiring manager that wants their “perfect” candidate for 20% less money than the market pays and I just what to put a but in that seat.

What I really want to tell you when I don’t hire you is this:

Look, here is the deal… I/we do not feel that this position and or the company is a good match for you and/or you are not a good match for us.  So, how about we help each other out?  You help me find the right person (you were a close match so you probably know other people who are similar) and I will help you.  How could I help you?  I could do a lot.  The least of which is connect on LinkedIn.  If you handle things right I might even give you some suggestions on your resume or interviewing skills.

So keep your chin up and keep fighting the good fight.  It WILL work out for you, if you believe it will.

The Man

Everything happens for a reason and sometimes that reason is that you are an idiot.
Unknown

 

I am going to let you in on a secret.  If a company is a government contractor they have A LOT of hoops to jump through in the hiring process.  I am not telling you this to make you feel bad for the HR people but rather to give you an understanding of why some things happen.

First of all, government contractors are periodically audited by the OFCCP.  I speak from personal experience that an OFCCP audit is no bueno.  One of the first things to keep in mind that each government contractor must maintain an AAP.  Also, 7% (sometimes more) of a government contractor’s hires must be veterans.  Lastly, in each category of jobs, a government contractor must have 7% of their hires be IWDs.

In and of themselves, these are not “bad” but they do drive some behavior that is VERY frustrating for candidates.  Plus, if you are not disabled and not a veteran there are a potential of 14% of jobs at each company that you are not going to get.

The first hurdle is that you cannot just submit a resume to a government contractor.  You must be an “applicant.”  I know, that sounds stupid but it is a VERY important part of the process.  Why?  Because a government contractor MUST report certain information to government on their applicants.  What do the companies report you ask?  Why many things that are illegal to ask:

• Race
• Gender
• Are you disabled?
• Are you a veteran?

Yep, THE Man wants to know it all.  The REAL crazy thing is that on IWDs and Vets you can only ask after they are hired so there is not way to see what the candidate pool is like.  So, to be considered for employment with government contractors you MUST first be an applicant.  With most companies that means is you must fill out an application including a self identification form so THE Man can get his information.

So just keep in mind when filling out all that paperwork to apply, not all companies want it that way.

The Man

Government’s first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives.
Ronald Reagan

Today is a great day to think about independence.  Not just our Country’s but your’s.  My kids ask me “do you HAVE to go to work today?”  I tell them “no, I do not have to, I GET to.  Many people do not get to go to work.”

We have heard the phrase “perception IS reality” and oh, how true it is.  Ever heard of first world problems? We need to keep in mind that we are blessed to have many of our “problems.”  I was talking to a neighbor’s child that is a recent college grad the other day.  I asked him how the job search is going.  He said he was not sure what position he wanted to take.  He said it like I had asked him which ugly girl he was taking to the prom.  My response?  “First world problems, yours is a good problem to have.”  He still did not get it.

Many people take on a victim mentality in life.  I think we/people learn this as children.  We even have a tendency to teach them this as parents: see what you made me do, you made me mad, you make me crazy, etc…  I try to tell my kids AND remind myself the old adage: “You can not control what happens to you, only how you react to it.”  Look up happiness on Ted Talks and you find 515 results.  I highly recommend viewing many of them.  First one to watch? Shawn Achor.  Watch it, you will thank me later.

Back to being a victim.  As a recruiter and HR person I try to actively monitor and manage what we call our “Employment Brand.”  One place a lot of people go to find out about companies is Glassdoor.  They are a great resource.  Just keep in mind that many people are victims of their own stupidity.  Here are a few examples.  The names and specifics have been changed to save me a headache from dealing with one of these idiots finding some idiot employment ambulance chaser to sue us.

Glassdoor review: The company does not understand that stuff happens in your life and sometimes you have to miss work.  They are not flexible and don’t care about their employees.

Reality: You were only with the company about three months and were late more times than you were on time.  You did have a family issue (sick family member you needed to care for) but we have customers we need to take care of and we are unwilling to let you work whenever you can and not when you can’t.

Glassdoor review: I was one of the best sales people they had and this new manager just came in and fired me without regards for my years of service.

Reality: You are a sexist pig that more than once hit on your new female boss.  Making comments about how good looking they are (on several occasions) to her, to co-workers and to clients is unacceptable.  We even gave you a few chances to change you behavior before firing you.

Glassdoor review:  The company has old technology and makes it tough to sell.  They need to lower the cost of their product.

Reality:  We told you in the interview process that we are upgrading many of our systems as previous management had not kept up with the times.  Also, if you want to sell on price go to Wal-Mart.  Again, we told you all of this in the interview you idiot.

Glassdoor review:  They expect too much out of people and work you too hard.

Reality:  We told you that the job involved dealing with difficult customers.  We even had you shadow people and they gave you examples of tough situations.  Also, sorry that we expect you to be on time, ask for days off in advance, and don’t let you take hour and a half lunch breaks.

OK, as you can see, this is a bit of a sore-spot for me.   Yes, I understand that some companies flat out lie to people in the interview process.  Yes, I also understand that people have bills to pay, I do too.  Yes, I get it that some places just flat out suck to work at it and some bosses’ management styles would have gotten them put in prison at Nuremberg.  But guess what?  If you have a job then count yourself blessed.  If you do not like it….  You have two choices: do something about it or shut your pie-hole.  Celebrate your independence, it is YOUR choice.

THE Man

Be with someone that makes you happy.
Unknown

Let’s get one thing straight about the interview process.  It may be two sided but the deck is stacked in the house’s favor.  So, what should you do if the recruiter stands you up?  I suggest to always assume the best!  Assume that it was an honest mistake.  I always reach out to a candidate if they no-show an interview.  I leave a message and follow up with an email because, well… life happens.  I have had candidates end up in hospital, have an emergency, or even something come up at their current job.  So guess what?  The same thing happens on our end.

Sometimes it is a case of “bigger name, other line” and a SVP, EVP, CVP or BSVP needs my time.  Sorry to say it, but they pay my bills so they come first.  Not to mention, who knows, maybe it is a test.  I am just saying…

I suggest leaving the recruiter a voicemail (you did get their number, right?) and follow up with an email saying something like this:

Hello Mr/Ms Smith, this is Nathan Arizona.  I am very interested in your sales position at Unpainted Arizona and I look forward to speaking with you about the opportunity.  I may have missed your call as I know sometimes cell phone calls get dropped.  You can reach me at 555-867-5309 or Narizona@email.com.  That is 555-867-5309.  I am available the rest of the week.  Have a good day.

I know, I know!  Your righteous indignation does not want you to do that.  You really want to leave this message:

Hey, Mr. big shot.  Did your sundial break old man or were you still napping when you should have been calling me about your weak-ass position that I wasn’t really interested in anyway.  You were lucky to have me as a candidate but your luck just ran out, ass-hat.

BUT don’t do it!

THE Man

Before you “assume” try this crazy method called “asking.”
Unknown

I do not understand it.  Well I guess I do, but I don’t like it… being stood up.  About 10% of my phone interviews stand me up.  These are people that picked the day and time for the interview.  They also received an email confirming the day and time and finally, I email them again the day before or the morning of the interview.  Oy vey!

I feel like I am back in high school and people are breaking up with me by not calling me back.  Oh, wait… that was me.  Sorry about that!  But now we are supposed to be adults.  This is business.  Just tell me you are no longer interested, I can handle it!

What I do not like is being stood up.  Would you like it?  I think not.  So, if you decide you are no longer interested just tell the company.  What if you took another job?  Tell them!  You never know how things will work out in the future.

Man up and put your big girl panties on!

THE Man

Dating is pressure and tension.  What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?
Jerry Seinfeld

You have heard it one way or another: prior planning prevents piss-poor performance.

Here is the set-up.  I have candidates schedule their own phone interview.  So they are actually choosing the day and time we talk, not me.  Next, the system immediately send them an email confirming the phone interview date and time.  Lastly I send candidates a reminder email the day before or early the day of the phone interview which includes:

• The day and time of the interview.
• A link to our benefits information.
• A multi-page pdf on the position and the company.
• My telephone number and asking them to call me if they don’t hear from me.

All this PLUS I tell them the first two questions I am going to ask them.  Talk about a soft-pitch.  And yet, time and time again I get people who are not prepared in the least.  No really, they suckith.  Here is just a sample of the crap I hear come out of their mouths along with what I am thinking:

• Now is not really a good time – YOU scheduled the interview you idiot!
• What position was this for? – Do you not know how to read?
• What company are you with? – You are as think as I dumb you are.
• What do you all do? – Oh, do you live in a cave with no internet access?

Let’s look at the dating analogy.  You have a date set up with a person.  They have told you they will pick you up including where and when.  You have told them what you like to eat and that you have celiac disease.  So what happens next? You call them 10 minutes after they were supposed to pick you up.  The say “oh, crap.  I totally forgot!  I am at a cocktail party, I will be right over.”  You are gratous and you wait.  They show up and say what was your name again?  Then they proceed to to take you to a bakery for dinner.  So, how are you feeling right now?

There are not many, if any, companies that you cannot do quite a bit of research on before a phone interview.  In fact, it is a good idea to start a folder (electronic or paper) on each company you apply with.  Yes, I know you have applied a lot of places!  At the least paste the job-posting and any relevant internet links in each folder so you can find them quickly.

If you have a set day and time for a phone interview there is absolutely no excuse for you not being prepared.

THE Man

Job interviews are like first dates.  Good impressions count.  Awkwardness can occur.  Outcomes are unpredictable.
Unknown

I will be the first to say that this game SUCKS!  I could say more but it would be crude.  The whole job search deal sucks!  Trust me, it sucks for everyone!  Just think about it in terms of dating…  what if there was an easy way to find that the person that is RIGHT for you.  You know, THE ONE, your soul mate.  You would pay big money for that, right?  Companies are wanting and willing to do the same, sometimes.  They are always looking to build a better mousetrap.

The wrong hire costs a company anywhere from 30% to 120% of the first income.  Don’t believe me?  How about the effect the person you are dating has on your friends?  If the person you are dating is NOT the right person they may make your friends angry, drive them away, make you sad, all of this can lead to your life being negatively affected.  We have all been there.

Plus, let’s look at it from your side.  Do you REALLY want a company to hire you if you are not a good match?  I read news all the time about how employees are not happy at work.  Forbes just did an article about it last year stating that over 50% of Americans are unhappy at work.  Not to mention all the people that piss and moan about how unfulfilling their work is.  But time and time again I get candidates who get mad when we don’t hire them.  I know that sometimes you just need a job, any job, to pay the bills.  But here is the bottom line… companies are not cool with that.

Let’s look at another analogy.  What if you only believed that sex should be withing a marriage or at least in a committed relationship.  You are single so you are hosed.  Would it be fair to the other person if you found someone that you knew you could date, woo and then marry, all just to have sex with them? All this knowing that you didn’t really like the person that much, but what the heck, they have a nice body, right?

So, what do companies do to try and find THE right person.  Well, they do a lot.  I am not going to mention the requirements THE MAH (the government) puts on companies here but I will in a future post.  Here is a partial list of the mousetraps:

• Use headhunters and agencies to find candidates.
• Online application processes that are arduous – Only people that REALLY want the position will stick it out. (I do not think this is a good thing all the time.)
• Testing – If tests REALLY worked then your GPA in school would better predict success in your career.
• Multiple interviews with multiple people.
• Different styles of interviewing – hypothetical/situational, behavioral, traditional, case, puzzle, task oriented, stress, and presentation.
• Different types of interviews: lunch/dinner,  phone, face to face, video-conference, panel, round-robin, group, job shadowing, and career fairs.

So what does all of this leave us with?  One in three new hires will not last more than 18 months in their job.  But we keep trying and you, the mouse, keep getting caught by all these mousetraps.  I know it hurts, sorry.

THE Man

One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.
Arthur Ashe

If you start dating someone wouldn’t you wonder “why are you single?”  Guess what, companies wonder the same thing!

First, let’s admit the obvious…  there is no winning this battle.  If you are single there is obviously something wrong with you or you are too picky.  But if you are currently with someone AND open to dating then you are not trustworthy.

Lucky for you we are a little more flexible in business, but not much.  If you are unemployed then, yes, we are much more nervous about hiring you.  Why?  Because there are a lot of freaking jobs out there!  I read and hear about recruiters whining about how they cannot find employees.   I see “No Hiring” signs all over the place.  Yes, I get it.  Many of those jobs suck and if you take them then it is difficult to explain how you are not doing what you want to do.  I also get that many people have been shafted by THE MAN.  They have been laid off, the company sold or taken a huge pay cut.

Taking all this into account I strongly recommend that you put why you left each position on your resume.  Remember, don’t be little kid honest.  Why do I recommend this?  Because I, as a recruiter or hiring manager, will usually assume the worst.  No really, most hiring managers are some suspicious people.  So try and anticipate some of their questions and answer them.  Remember, the resume gets you the interview, the interviews get you the job.

The Man

Never lose yourself while trying to hold on to someone who doesn’t care about losing you.
Unkown

Let me in on a conversation I have with my kids:

Me: Why can’t you buy that?
Kids: Because I don’t have a job.
Me: You don’t have a job because THE MAN is keeping you down.
Kids: Who is THE MAN?
Me: As soon as you figure it out you find out that YOU are THE MAN and you are keeping someone down.
Kids: Ugh!

But seriously almost all of us are part of THE MAN.  Take Wal-Mart for instance.  People bitch and complain about several things Wal-Mart does.  I have listed several below with some comments beside them.

• Wal-Mart does not pay well – Do you want to pay more for the stuff at Wal-Mart?  How about you start tipping your Wal-Mart employees if you think they should make more.
• Wal-Mart should provide better benefits – Remember your 401(k)?  I bet some of it is invested in Wal-Mart stock or something similar.  You OK with the price of that stock and thus your portfolio going down?
• Wal-Mart does not buy much American made stuff – Again, you cool with paying more?  I am not going to even get into the argument that you are helping people in other countries escape extreme poverty.

Everything is a trade off.  What are you willing to do or give up to make a change?

The Man

You have two choices: do something about it or shut up and suck it up buttercup.
The Man