Courting The Company

I am curious… how are people using technology in their job search?  This could be just about anything from using mail merge to save time on a basic cover letter to setting up a google alert to search for jobs.  I know most people use technology for fun or social networking but if you are in a job search you need to use all of the resources you have available.

You will have the most success if you really focus on your job search.  This is not for those of us that are “open to other opportunities” but rather for those people who NEED a job NOW.  You know, your boss is an ass-hat and you can’t take it any more or you just got right-sized.  Whatever the reason if you NEED a job then you NEED to take it seriously and that means working at it.  Yep, it is a job.  I know the pay sucks but the pay-off can be huge.

So if you are so inclined, post a comment with how you could or have used technology in your job search.  Come on, help a brother out!

The Man

Two things are infinite.  The universe and human stupidity.  …and I’m not so sure about the universe.

Albert Einstein

I hear it and see it a lot from candidates… I CAN do the job.  That is the answer a lot of times when I ask some form of “Why do you want this position at this company?”  I hope you do not think that is a good answer, because it is not.

Look at it this way… you ask someone out and they say yes.  Whew!  Boy, you sure are glad they did not say no.  During the date you casually ask “so, why did you say yes when I asked you out?”  Their answer? “Because I wanted a free meal and no one else had asked me out for tonight.”  Boom!  That sound was your heart sinking.

CAN does not get you out to bed in the morning.  CAN does not get you to work on time.  CAN does not make you a good coworker.  CAN does not make you a valuable part of the team.  CAN is a robot that CAN do your job.

Tell me that you WANT the position and you WANT to work here.  What are good reasons to WANT a position?  Benefits?  Wrong answer asshole!  That is akin to telling someone you want to go out with them because they come from a family with money.  How about “I want to work in pharmaceutical sales and I know a lot of sales reps come out of your company.”  Oh, you want to date me because I have good-looking friends you would like to meet.

To know what a good answer is depends on several factors including, but not limited to the company’s culture and what you like to do.  Yes, honesty is the best policy but what do you say when someone 5’3″ 200 lbs asks you if those jeans make them look big?  Do you tell them “it’s not the jeans?”

Remember, this IS a game.  I wish it wasn’t but in most cases it is.  I know some recruiters and companies would argue with me but they are just ignorant.  In every interview non-job related criteria is taken into consideration.

The Man

Go sell crazy somewhere else, we’re all stocked up here.
Jack Nicholson, As Good as it Gets

Chive On: A Phrase made famous by the popular website, “www.TheChive.com” (probably the best site in the world). It means stay the course no matter what. Chive On refers to the mutual understanding between Chivers on how to go about life, regardless of all the assholes, douchebags, posers, etc, who might %$#^ it up from time to time.

This is the attitude you must have in your job search and in dating.  I am not talking about becoming or staying an arrogant waste of oxygen but rather having a calm confidence.  I know you might be thinking “you stay calm while this happens.”  This can be any of the following:

• My house is foreclosed on
• Car repossessed
• Spouse leaves with the kids
• Spouse leaves without the kids

and the list goes on.   I am not getting preachy about bad choices.  The truth of the matter is that there is usually little difference between the people with jobs and those without.  Oh, sure, you can become one of those positive thinking power people but the truth of the matter is that we are all one or two bad decisions or bad luck away from the bottom.  For those with a religious take on things… the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

So, how does one “Chive On” in the face of the black hole that is the job search?  I would love to hear your tricks but here are a few I have seen or done over the decades:

• Print out rejection letters (if you get them) and post them for motivation.  Think “I am going to prove you (insert appropriate curse word here) wrong!
• Connect with each recruiter or interviewer you meet on LinkedIn.  They can become an invaluable asset later on.
• Start an excel sheet and keep track of each position you apply for and track your progress.
• Put a game together.  Check out Jane McGonigal’s Ted Talk.
• Get a job where you can meet a lot of people and network.  Think barista or wait staff.
• Make and wear some shirts that are advertising.  Think “Got Career?” on the front and “Business Graduate with chutzpah” on the back or “Liberal Arts Grad Available for Hire.”
• I have not seen it yet but maybe a car-wrap that is an info-graphic of your resume.

The main thing is to get serious, get creative and get out there.  You know those pyramid sales people who sell to EVERYONE?  Yep, take on that persona but a little toned down.  Think Money Mayweather without the sharp edges and the obnoxious display of wealth.  You need to be your own self-promoter.

There are several right jobs out there for you!  Get to it.

The Man

Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.
John C. Maxwell

Sometimes it really is you.  I always encourage people to ask for feedback in the interview process.  The catch… you will rarely get any.  But you might.  One of the best ways is to ask at the end of each interview.  No, do not just blurt out “do you like me?”  Try to use a little tact won’t you?  Maybe something like “I know we have only been speaking for an hour but do you feel that this position could be a good match for me and me a good match for the position?  Just be careful what you ask for.

Just like dating you may hear “it’s not you, it’s us.”  You will usually hear something to the effect of “we have chosen to pursue candidates that we feel are a better match.”  But the truth is, unless you are in the final round, it is you, not them.

This is not as bad as it sounds.  Would you want a company to hire you for a job if they truly thought you would suck?  No.  It would be like being mad if someone won’t go out with you because you don’t make enough money.  If that happens you just dodged a bullet my friend. I won’t go into that here but trust me, you are WAY better off without that person.

So, what to do now?  Ask if you can stay in touch and/or if they know of any other positions (in or out of their company) that you may be a better match for.  Generally speaking HR people and recruiters like helping people.  Yes, we have a dark sense of humor and are sometimes caught laughing about in appropriate things but all in all we generally like helping people, just not assholes.  So don’t be an asshole.

The Man

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test
George W. Bush

to get turned down.  Yes, sorry about that.  I know you just gave up several days off and told a dozen lies to make it to the final interview but it’s a no-go flight.  Think of it this way.  What should you do if you date someone for a while.  Things keep going well and you ask them to marry you.  Then all of a sudden you are walking down the aisle and you realize THIS IS ALL WRONG!  If you are the other person watching them walk to you wouldn’t you want to know.  Of course it would have been easier after the first few dates but late is better than never.

The same holds true in the interview process.  I have had candidates tell me “if you do not know if I am a good match by now, the odds are that I am not.”  Fair ’nuff.  But be sure if you draw a line in the sand that you are ready for the other party to walk away, because I will.  Our interview process is 2-4 weeks.  We do not do one of these multi-month 6-10 interview marathons.  We just want to be sure that we are the right match for each other.

If you want to “try it out” then go find a company that does spaghetti hiring… They hire everyone and see who sticks.  Not for us.  We play it a little safer.  Do we make mistakes?  Absolutely!  But we try to do the best we can.

The Man

Be the type of person that when your feet touch the floor in the morning the Devil says “Aww shit… they’re up.”
Dwayne Johnson

Assuming you did everything right your online application is now sitting in some black hole of an ATS.  You now have two choices.  Go on the offensive or wait and see if the God’s are with you.  What do you think would work better; asking someone out in person or sending them an email asking them out?  How would you even know if they received the email?  Plus, don’t most people like confident people who really want to date them?  Keep in mind this is where you start walking the line between being interested and being a stalker.  Don’t be a stalker, it’s sad and we laugh at you.

Once you apply it is now time to employ your network and/or build one.  See if you know anyone that works at the company.  Many companies have an employee referral program that will pay them from a few hundred dollars to a several thousand.  So get out there and see if anyone you know works where you want to, it can help A LOT!  Also search for people who work for the company on LinkedIn, FB, Twitter or other networking sites.  Just remember, don’t be a stalker.

If you are connecting with people you do not already know keep in mind that it is part of the interview process.  EVERYTHING is taken into consideration.  Yep, even your FB page or Twitter account but that is for another post.

Start spreading the word with posting it on your FB page, LinkedIn, Twitter account, etc…  It may be something as simple as a tweet like “Just applied for an awesome opportunity @company”  Or shooting a friend an email with something like “Just wanted to give you a head’s up that I applied for the XYZ opening at your company.  Do you know anything about the position or the department?”  If everyone you reach out to does not help you then you have other issues.  But it is likely that someone will help you.

I like to get the contact info for the HR person or the Recruiter handling the opening.  I would then email them and follow-up in a day or two with a call.  Keep in mind that you want to assume the best and be VERY understanding when you contact them.  You are selling them on a conversation with you, not on hiring you.

Just think of it this way.  If two people want to date you and they send you emails or leave you voice mails like the ones below which one would you be more interested in contacting?

1. Hey, I sent you a message a couple of days ago and you did not call me back.  Why not?  Think you are too good for me?
2. I sent you a message a couple of days ago asking if you would like to go out but you may not have received it, gotta love technology.  I will follow-up again tomorrow to see if you have time to meet this week.  Have a great day!

I think #2 would be the winner there but all too often candidates leave messages that are more like #1.  Don’t feel too bad for the recruiter, HR person or hiring manager but we are all trying to do our job and hire the best person for the position.  To do that there is usually a process that we follow and sometimes that process is frustrating for everyone, even us.  So put your best foot forward and start setting goals for yourself each day and week.  How many people will you network with and how many job searches will you do today?

The Man

When you walk up to opportunity’s door, don’t knock.  Kick that bitch in and introduce yourself.
Dwayne Johnson

 

Many articles declare that most people find new positions through networking.  I totally agree that it is the best way to find a position but it is by no means the only way.  Just like in dating… it is best if a friend introduces you to someone but if that is the only way you find someone to date you are severely limiting your options.

If you want to get serious about the job search then you need to be deliberate.  One of the things to add in the mix is job boards.  Don’t scoff.  Any company that is a government contractor is required to post their openings.  Now keep in mind that sometimes they are only posted for 12-24 hours.  Yep, sometimes it is like concert tickets.  I worked for a company where we would post some positions for a day or less than close the posting.  We would receive 100 or more applicants in that time frame.  I would then sort and filter the applications.  If we did not find enough people I would post it again.  Is it fair, no.  But you know what “fair” is right?  Yep, the fair is something that comes to town once a year.

So, first you need to search the boards or set up a search agent on the boards to search for you daily.  I know, that is a pain in the ass.  But you know what, suck it up buttercup.  If you are like most of us you don’t have head hunters blowing up your phone with incredible offers. So then you need to go on the offensive.

Once you find a position you want to apply for you need to hustle.  Ideally you will tweak your cover letter and resume for the opening.  If you want a government job then you REALLY need to do a lot of prep work.  The OPM has a lot of hoops to jump through when applying and they screen applicants in a totally different way than the rest of the world.  I will talk about the OPM in another post, or several posts.

When you start updating your resume and cover letter be sure to read the job posting well.  Look for keywords and phrases that let you know what they want in a candidate. Let’s look at an example:

• Monitoring and responding to program’s success metrics in your
  region
• Sponsoring internal and external business reviews covering
  operational performance and strategic initiatives
• Creating programs and processes that will allow the field sales
  force to target highest value regions, accounts and stores
• Managing in store product transitions and retailer communications
  Collecting business and market intelligence
• Incorporate field sales findings into marketing plan and product
  road-map

Highlight keywords then be sure they are in your resume and cover letter.  A lot of hiring managers also like numbers.  Like an X% increase or decrease, ranked in top x%, etc…  Keep in mind that you want to be honest but remember what Samuel Langhorne Clemons is attributed as saying: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies and statistics.  Here are the ones I see off the bat: monitoring, metrics, business reviews, operational performance, strategic initiatives, highest value, product transitions, market intelligence, and road map.

Do not just dump them in, take your time and work them in your resume.  If you are looking for jobs in one field you probably will not have to change much.  If you are all across the board it will be more work.  Just like dating.  If you only date one type of person then your wardrobe can be small.  But if you date athletic people, hipsters, the country club crowd, and academics then you need a bigger closet.  I see your resume as your wardrobe.  If it does not match the other person’s expectations it is much harder to get a date.

Don’t give me that “this is who I am and they need to accept me for me” crap.  So if you pick your nose from time to time would you do it while asking someone out?  Put your best-self forward.  Don’t want to do it, fine.  But don’t get mad when a company doesn’t want to play by your rules.  Yes, some companies won’t hire you if you don’t wear a suit to an interview.  But I bet you there are just as many companies who wouldn’t hire someone in a dark pinstripe suit with a tie in a windsor knot who is applying for a tech or creative job.  Bunch of bigots 🙂

OK, you have done all that.  Now let at least one other person read it for typos.  Yes, many companies will screen out people with any typos on their resume or in their cover letter.  Remember, most companies look for reasons to screen you out, not to pull you in.  Of course those companies are idiots but you deal with what you get.  Another good trick is to read everything backwards to make sure nothing is misspelled.  Do NOT trust spell check!  Remember, the only difference between assess and asses is whether or not you get an interview.

The Man

Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes things happen because you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.
Unknown

Most people love Fridays but for me they are often not a very happy day.  Oh, don’t go feeling bad for me.  Friday’s are not good days because that is usually the day we “wish people well in their future endeavors.”  Or, to say it another way, we can people.

Keep in mind that this is usually not taken lightly.  Most times the person is on a PIP (performance improvement plan) so it should not come as a shock.  They are told to do certain things by a certain date and guess what?  Don’t do it and you don’t have a job.  Most PIPs last 30-60 days so if the goals seem unreasonable that gives the person time to start looking.  Of course I know that it usually takes a month for every $10k you want to make.  $70k = 7 months.

What I do feel bad about is that I am unable to tell the person we are letting go any of the following things:

• I’m sorry.
• I wish it could be different.
• Did you think you were doing a good job?
• I know this sucks.
• How can I help?

I also wish I could tell other employees and other companies (if they ask) why the person was let go.  Not in a vindictive way but from a point of helping keep employee’s know what is expected and other employers what the employee’s strengths and weaknesses are.  Just because you get fired from one job it does not mean that you will bad in another but because of the veil of secrecy that lawsuits have imposed on employers, that is the assumption.

The Man

If it is important to you, you will find a way.  If not, you’ll find an excuse.
Unknown

I frequently have interviews with candidates that have a spotty work history.  Six months here, two years here, a year and a half there, etc…  I, unlike many other recruiters, still call those people.  Why don’t many recruiters call candidates with work history ADHD?

What if you are dating this person and it comes out that every relationship they have been in and their previous five marriages only lasted a couple of years?  Would you be a little hesitant to keep dating them?  Oh, they have good reasons for all of it.  Maybe they just have a bad picker.  But even that is an issue.

So what is a candidate to do with an inconsistent work history.  The first thing I suggest is to put why you left each position on your resume.  Remember, the resume gets you a phone call, the phone call a face to face and the face to face interviews get you the job.  If a recruiter just sees your dates of employment they WILL assume the worst.  I also do not recommend just using years.  2013-2014 could be a one month job or almost two years.  I would assume one month.

You can also address your work history in your cover letter but keep in mind that if we do not like your resume we won’t read the cover letter.  Something like this might work on your resume

ABC Company            6/2012 – 3/2013
Company lay off

XYZ Company            6/2013 – 5/2015
Department relocated to AZ

Will it work every time, no.  Does every recruiter like this format, no.  But if you are not getting phone calls then you need to take an objective look at your resume.

The Man

Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.
Tim Notke

 

Like any dating situation, the relationship should be a match for both parties.  Interviews are no different. I believe that if the position, like a relationship, is not a match for one person then it is not a match for both.  We even tell people in our interviewing process that this is a two-way street.

But, like all relationships, sometimes people’s feelings get hurt or their expectations are not met.  That is when people start to show what I believe are their TRUE colors.  Ever heard this quote?

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person
Dave Barry

I find that to be true.  If you start to get frustrated in an interview process ask questions before you start jumping to conclusions.  Also keep in mind that if you put out some kind of ultimatum companies will likely call you on it.  I will give you two examples.

A great employee that everyone likes and is doing a good job goes to their bosses boss and says “either my boss goes or I go.”  Little did they know that their boss is on a performance improvement plan and is indeed on their way out.  But what the employee has done is thrown down a gauntlet.  If the company acquiesces then the employee will feel emboldened to do this kind of thing again.  What happened?  Their bosses boss says “I’m sorry you feel that way.” They leave it at that and the employee now feels they “must” resign or their loose face.  They left and oh, wait… a position that person had been waiting for was opened up a day after they gave their less than two weeks notice.  No, they were not considered for the position but they would have been had they not acted like a child drawing a line in the sand.

or

A candidate that everyone liked and we were holding a spot in a new hire training class for.  Yep, that candidate called me a few days before their final interview and said “I have done three interviews and if you all do not know if I am the right person by now then I need to reconsider this.  I was currently working on their offer letter so we could give it to them at the end of the final interview.  Oh well, that was a wasted effort.  I told the candidate that I was sorry they felt that way but I understood and they could call me back if they were interested again in the future.

How would you like it if someone you were dating said “OK, it’s me or your friend”  or if they said “we have been dating for three months, if you are not ready to marry me then I need to rethink this relationship.”  It is usually an easy decision.  Adios!

The Man

I told that teachin’ lady… the only crayons I need are the red, white and blue.  Go ‘Merica!